I have already crossed
Cannes off my Travel Bucket List, as I was lucky enough to be invited by Monsieur
X in 2010 and I have wanted to get back there ever since. 2011 wasn’t to be,
and my ideas on how to get to Cannes 2012 ( http://englishchouchoulovesfrance.blogspot.co.uk ) didn’t happen and will have to be added to my ‘1001 ways to get to Cannes 2013’.
So what am I going to
miss apart from the sun, sea, expensive shops (no Primark or New Look) and it's buzzing
atmosphere full of skinny beautiful people full of Botox (bitter? Moi? of course).
Yes France is usually the land of beautiful people but Cannes is something
else! I’ll probably miss Brad and Angie,
Johnny and Vanessa and lots of L’Oreal models who no matter how much I wash and
dye my hair in that stuff I still don’t look like Cheryl Cole! Of course I
don’t know who will actually be there apart from the gorgeous Jedi Ewan
McGregor who’s on this year’s Jury. And anyone who can make a film about
fishing in the Yemen interesting is gorgeous to me.
So again I will be
relying on France 24, cinemoi and the tweets, websites and blogs (see below ) from
you lucky people who are actually there…et oui Monsieur X this means you too –
keep me informed.
See you all next year! For now I will just retweet green with envy.
http://www.festival-cannes.fr/en.html
http://off-de-cannes.com/fr/
https://www.facebook.com/?sk=h_chr#!/CannesInside
https://www.facebook.com/?sk=h_chr#!/groups/74076067970/
https://www.facebook.com/?sk=h_chr#!/groups/festivalcannes/
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/cannesfilmfestival
http://www.arte.tv/fr/Cannes-2012/6607970.html
http://www.france24.com/en/culture
17/05/10 - Festival de Cannes, unrequited love, bad luck and a volcano
The
englishchouchou’s mission to get to Festival de Cannes 2010. Fighting against
unrequited love, bad luck and that damm volcano.
Narrated in Jack Bauer 24 style. Please add the bleeps after the times, and I
will add the ’Damm its’. I was so excited; one of things in my top ten bucket
list was to go to Festival de Cannes with an extra bonus of being with Monsieur
X who was kind enough to invite me.
What shall I wear? What shall I take? What shall I buy? What What What? Usually
when I visit Monsieur X I travel light, but not this time I was going for a
week and planned to buy every bit of Cannes merchandise I could find. I paid
for the extra baggage and spend weeks before departing checking the Internet
for information about what stars might be attending.
Then that f**king volcano went off!!!! Damm it number 1!
I left my home at 1.30am on Monday 17th May 2010, my flight from Luton to Nice
was still going ahead even thou all other UK airports were closed. I caught my
coach at 2am, arrived at Luton Airport at 4.15am and all I could see was red
screens and ‘cancelled cancelled cancelled’ etc. All over the TV screens. Merde!
Plan B: Take the train from the airport to London. But there was a fire
at Luton train station. Damm it!
Plan C: I caught the coach and called Monsieur X telling him not to go
to the airport ‘I'm coming by land’ I said. He moaned‘ Eh D’accord’
with his French hung-over and half asleep accent.
5.00am: Bus to London Victoria Coach Station. £15
6.00am: Arrive in Victoria; half of the coach heads towards the Eurostar
the another to the coach station. What do I do? What do I do? Other than panic!
Ok deep breathe, the coach station was nearer and I could get to Paris by
17.00. Last train to Cannes from Paris 17.30. Merde! Ticket Office doesn’t open
until 7am.
7.00am: Ticket office opens - fully booked no tickets for Paris until
Wednesday - Damm it!
7.15am: Take the tube to St Pancras railway station/Eurostar.
7.30am: Arrived at the Eurostar office, not much of a queue, a good sign
I thought. Wrong! 9am train was nearly fully booked and the next available
train was at 16.00!!!!!
I call home and ask my sister to try a book online, save time waiting in the
queue for the few remaining seats. She told me the website crashed! Copy That!
- I head for the train ticket office.
8.30am: Brought train ticket to Dover. £33
8.45am: Took a train to Dover.
10.10am: Arrived in Dover, I hadn’t a clue where to go. No one around so
I followed a French family to the shuttle bus stop.
10.45am - 11.30am: Arrived at the Ferry Ticket Office. One way ticket to
Calais. £18
11.30am- All aboard!! Took the ferry to Calais, tried to sleep. Switch
off phone to save battery.
14.30: Arrived in Calais, foot passengers left to defend for ourselves,
no signs, bus stop, directions, or tourist information. Rien! And it starts to
rain. Shuttle bus finally arrives and takes us to the bus stop.
A kind Englishwomen could see I was stressed (I didn’t think I would make it to
Paris never mind Cannes) and gave me advice on train times to Paris. There was
no way I was going to make that last train. Merde!
15.10: Took the bus to Calais Train Station - it’s pissing it down and
I’m soaked.
15.30:
Made it to the train station and found my Guardian Angel, a very helpful ticket
seller who spoke perfect English. After a few minutes of talking with my Angel and
Monsieur X, who is shouting at me down the phone, telling me to ask for other
routes to Marseille, Nice or Miramas (there wasn’t any), I pay for an overnight
train to Cannes via Paris. 130€
15.50: At the wrong train station - run in the rain for a taxi to TGV
station - Damm it!
16.10: Arrived at TGV station and run for my train this was due to leave
in 2 minutes.
16.15: Train departs to Paris Nord. I flop on my seat with relief. Call
home and Monsieur X, (he had calmed down) with my travel updates. Switch off
phone again.
18.05: Arrived in Paris it was good I had four hours before my next train
journey, or I would have been shitting myself.
18.20: Took the Metro from Paris Nord to Paris Austerlitz. I couldn’t
believe I was travelling around France and Paris on my own, until the Metro
came out of the tunnel into the Paris sunshine over the River Seine and seeing
lots of tacky souvenir shops near Austerlitz full of Eiffel Towers of all sizes
and materials.
18.35 - 20.25: Walked around Paris, tired and lonely. I found a shower
room in another train station, I was so dirty and so was the shower room, so I
cut my losses and when back to Austerlitz train station where I noticed there
was a shower room there (eh oui very French). I thought it was just a
hairdressers. I had a shower, and felt a million times better, mainly because I
wouldn’t be too rough and scruffy when I would meet Monsieur X the next morning.
Damm it! Only 2 bars left on my mobile.
My back was starting to hurt as my large sports bag had no wheels, so I had
been carrying it on my shoulders for most of the day, my shoulders were so red
it looked like sunburn (and hurt for most of my Cannes stay).
22.25: Found my seat at the cheap end of the night train. I never booked
a bed as it would have been around 400€. Called home and Monsieur X again to
update and switched off the phone again. Bonne Nuit et Au Revoir Paris.
22.50: Train departed, I had no trouble sleeping on my uncomfortable
seat, tres fatigue. I woke up around
6am, I had been travelling for over 24 hours and all the hassle and stress this
journey had caused me was made a little bit worth it seeing the French countryside
and coast at sunrise. Switched phone on, down to one bar of battery, hoping it
would not go flat until I was with Monsieur X.
8.30am 18/05/10: I had reached my destination - Cannes train station. I
looked a mess and walking up the steep train station stairs, my back felt like
it was going to snap from the weight of my bag but seeing Monsieur X’s gorgeous
smile at the top of the stairs made me feel my 31 hour trip was totally worth
it as I flopped into his strong arms...
hmmmm an idea for a film....take it to Cannes....it would be so much better
than Mr Bean’s holiday.
To be continued…..
