The dream is to travel, but the reality is living in Birmingham watching TV with my cat.
Yes I’m a stereotypical cat lady and Francophile with itchy feet and a TV addiction.
Sunday night usually consists of a crappy reality TV show or
a really good British crime drama, but Sunday 10th June consisted of heavy
metal music, Jack Black, Kyle Gass, a squid and a giant inflatable
penis. Yes Tenacious D was rocking the Apollo.
I had seen ‘The D’ 6 years ago at Birmingham NEC (aka LG
Arena for non Brummies); they were very funny and followed the Pick of Destiny movie
storyline and with it being December it was like an alternative pantomime with lots
of swearing. It’s not every day you watch a band consisting of the Anti-Christ,
Colonel Sanders and Charlie Chaplin.This time around it was the same band without their fancy dress and the gig felt
more intimate as the 02 Apollo Manchester is a lot smaller than the NEC and
thanks to my mobile phone contract we was let in first and managed to get front
row.That’s right people – FRONT ROW!!!
I love heavy metal music but I don’t mosh and being the wrong side of 35
surrounded by teenagers, the safety barrier was my new friend.
The D came on around 9 for their hour and half gig, the first
6 songs was from their new album Rise of the Fenix which I had listened to a few times
before Sunday (Low Hangin’ Fruit and Roadie my favourites so far). But why is it when you don’t know some of the
words you idol give you eye contact!
The it was back to the old stuff I knew the words to. I
loved Kickapoo and Kyle Quit The Band, but my favourites was The Metal as
J.B was up close climbing the speakers in front of us and Wonderboy as I’m sure he
was talking to me.You
can’t have a Tenacious D concert without the amazing Tribute and the very rude
F**k Her Gently. My only negatives of the night were it was in Manchester and
not Birmingham and that they didn’t perform Pick of Destiny (now my new
ringtone – clean version).
I think with all my favourite TV programmes finishing for
the summer I think this weekend will include School of Rock, Pick of Destiny,
High Fidelity andmaybe Gulliver’s
Travels.
Thank
you Liz for an extra day off work and after booking Friday off as well, I could
get used to a 5 day weekend.
I
started my Jubilee viewing on Friday night with the BBC’s AJubilee Tribute To
The Queen by the Prince of Wales followed by ITV tribute Elizabeth: Queen
Wife Mother, which I only watched half of because Monsieur X called to tell me
about French TV’s coverage. I don’t think it was the same programmes but he
said there had been a few documentaries.
Saturday
and Sunday morning was all about preparation for our Jubilee party.No time to sit and watch TV (even thou I did
manage to squeeze in the end of Criminal Minds and Hawaii 5 – 0) so while cleaning
and putting up the bunting – Sky news was on in the background. Not sure if it
was my TV but good news seems to be brighter in HD.
Our
house party was good (well I enjoyed myself), but the heavy rain all day meant
we couldn’t put the bouncy castle up or go out so there was around 50 -60 people
squeezed into middle sized living room, the hall and a tiny kitchen. Alcohol
and music helped and people mixed with each other...because they couldn’t move
away from the person next to them. Having the party on Sunday afternoon meant I
had to Sky+ Gary Barlow’s excellent documentary On her Majesty Service and the
River Pageant which was very an added bonus because we recorded the Pageant on
the BBC and could fast forward thought most of it. Their broadcast was so
boring I wanted to watch the Royals and the ships – not Z-List ‘celebrities’ and
which member of HRH’s loyal subjects loves her most. Seriously if I wanted to
watch new-born babies I would watch One Born Every Minute not a programme
about the Diamond Jubilee. Hence I watched the Pageant in half the time cutting
out the dull/non royal stuff.
Monday
– the big clean up so more background noise from Sky News, an afternoon of fast
forwarding the BBC, those boats move pretty quick on x12 speed and then it was
time for the Diamond Jubilee Concert.I’m
still upset I wasn’t lucky enough to get a ticket but looking at the crowd
heading home at the end of the gig, I was happy I was watching it from on my
sofa.
I
will summarise (Sir) Gary Barlow’s amazing concert into a few bullet points.
·With
the comedians Rob Brydon and Lee Mack very funny, Peter Kay is a comic genius. Miranda and Jimmy Carr
not so funny and Lenny Henry why the black ‘jokes’?
·Americans
Stevie Wonder and will.I.am should of googled ‘diamond jubilee’ then they
wouldn’t have looked stupid singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to an embarrassed crowd
who wouldn’t sing along with them.
·FYI
to Grace Jones what was the point of the hula hoop?
·4
Sirs and a Dame: Cliff, Tom, Elton, Paul and Shirley, are national treasures for
the oldie audience.
·JLS,
Jessie J and Ron Weasley twin brother -something for the kids.
·Lang
Lang/ Alfie Boe / Jools Holland/Renee Fleming - not my cup of tea.
·The
Commonwealth band: Sing sounds better watching them sing than listening to it
on the radio.
·Madness
on the roof – genius.
·Gary
Barlow and Cheryl Cole’s duet: Gary you should of sang with Take That and Chezza,
please stick to the miming.
·Robbie
and then Kylie: my favourite parts of the night apart from:
·Prince
Charles who stole the show with his witty and kind speech about his 'Mummy’ and
father. Get Well Soon Philip.
I
wonder what the odds are for Gary becoming Gary Barlow M.B.E, O.B.E or even a Sir
after watching his travels around the Commonwealth making a song with a lap top, microphone and 200 of the Queen's talented Commonwealth subjects and of course for extra points he did manage to book the sunny weather for the jubilee gig.
Now it’s Tuesday evening and the end
of this excellent ‘proud to be British’ weekend. Watched all today’s events (church
service, down the Mall, balcony, fly over and personal message) on Sky
News HD (gave up on BBC and ITV) and now it's time to take the bunting down and get back to work… until the Olympics of course.
Robbed of Oscars and
BAFTAs by that sinking boat – FACT!
Well the great man came to
my city last night!
Of course I only brought a
ticket for THE INFERNAL COMEDY at Birmingham's Symphony Hall because of the Con Air connection and due to the
fact that A-List actors never come to Birmingham (apart from 20th
July 2000 when Clooney and Wahlberg came for their Perfect Storm Premiere). I
knew nothing about the play or Jack Unterweger (thank you Google for your
help), I didn’t know what to expect and wondered if I would understand or like
it.
After last night I
surprised myself because I did understand it (I think), to get to the point it
was Unterweger telling his life story at a ‘book reading’ with the help of two
Opera singers who represented the different women in Unterweger’s life (well that’s
what the program and my intelligent Movie Mate said).I loved it and yes the best part of the play
wasn’t the music and singers as talented and good as they were but it was J.M (now
the coolest actor ever).I couldn’t take
my eyes of him even when I should have been reading the subtitles during the ‘opera
bits’.
My only negative about The
Infernal Comedy was the Symphony Hall programme – how dare they not mention the
greatest movie ever made in J.M Biography. Note to Mr Malkovich don’t hide the
Virus be Cyrus and proud!
Yes he is not my ‘type’
when it comes to men. He isn’t French and he doesn’t sing in a rock band.But Mr Malkovich is a living legend to me,
the coolest movie baddie ever - Cyrus the Virus Grissom and the only man to
make orange jumpsuits look stylish. Con Air would be my specialist subject on
Mastermind. I know it word for word and when I first met Monsieur X I pretended I understood the French language by watching the dubbed version with him.
J.M as opened my eyes to a
few films I would never have considered watching for example Shadows and Fog
was the first Woody Allen film I watched. I didn’t understand it but I watched
it and Burn after Learning was the first Coen Brothers’ film I stayed awake
thought it.Being John Malkovich was original
and funny, I developed an Oreo addiction after watching Rounders and ‘his blink
and you will miss him’ appearance was the only good thing about Transformers 3.
But I do prefer the psycho typecasting in In the Line of Fire and Red.
So, thank you for visiting Mr
Malkovich, come back to Birmingham soon because thanks to you (& the brilliant weather),
Birmingham wasn’t Boredville this weekend.
I have already crossed
Cannes off my Travel Bucket List, as I was lucky enough to be invited by Monsieur
X in 2010 and I have wanted to get back there ever since. 2011 wasn’t to be,
and my ideas on how to get to Cannes 2012 ( http://englishchouchoulovesfrance.blogspot.co.uk ) didn’t happen and will have to be added to my ‘1001 ways to get to Cannes 2013’.
So what am I going to
miss apart from the sun, sea, expensive shops (no Primark or New Look) and it's buzzing
atmosphere full of skinny beautiful people full of Botox (bitter? Moi? of course).
Yes France is usually the land of beautiful people but Cannes is something
else! I’ll probably miss Brad and Angie,
Johnny and Vanessa and lots of L’Oreal models who no matter how much I wash and
dye my hair in that stuff I still don’t look like Cheryl Cole! Of course I
don’t know who will actually be there apart from the gorgeous Jedi Ewan
McGregor who’s on this year’s Jury. And anyone who can make a film about
fishing in the Yemen interesting is gorgeous to me.
So again I will be
relying on France 24, cinemoi and the tweets, websites and blogs (see below ) from
you lucky people who are actually there…et oui Monsieur X this means you too –
keep me informed.
See you all next year!For now I will just retweet green with envy.
17/05/10 - Festival de Cannes, unrequited love, bad luck and a volcano
The
englishchouchou’s mission to get to Festival de Cannes 2010. Fighting against
unrequited love, bad luck and that damm volcano.
Narrated in Jack Bauer 24 style. Please add the bleeps after the times, and I
will add the ’Damm its’. I was so excited; one of things in my top ten bucket
list was to go to Festival de Cannes with an extra bonus of being with Monsieur
X who was kind enough to invite me.
What shall I wear? What shall I take? What shall I buy? What What What? Usually
when I visit Monsieur X I travel light, but not this time I was going for a
week and planned to buy every bit of Cannes merchandise I could find. I paid
for the extra baggage and spend weeks before departing checking the Internet
for information about what stars might be attending.
Then that f**king volcano went off!!!! Damm it number 1!
I left my home at 1.30am on Monday 17th May 2010, my flight from Luton to Nice
was still going ahead even thou all other UK airports were closed. I caught my
coach at 2am, arrived at Luton Airport at 4.15am and all I could see was red
screens and ‘cancelled cancelled cancelled’ etc.All over the TV screens. Merde!
Plan B: Take the train from the airport to London. But there was a fire
at Luton train station. Damm it!
Plan C: I caught the coach and called Monsieur X telling him not to go
to the airport ‘I'm coming by land’ I said. He moaned‘ Eh D’accord’
with his French hung-over and half asleep accent.
5.00am: Bus to London Victoria Coach Station. £15
6.00am: Arrive in Victoria; half of the coach heads towards the Eurostar
the another to the coach station. What do I do? What do I do? Other than panic!
Ok deep breathe, the coach station was nearer and I could get to Paris by
17.00. Last train to Cannes from Paris 17.30. Merde! Ticket Office doesn’t open
until 7am.
7.00am: Ticket office opens - fully booked no tickets for Paris until
Wednesday - Damm it!
7.15am: Take the tube to St Pancras railway station/Eurostar.
7.30am: Arrived at the Eurostar office, not much of a queue, a good sign
I thought. Wrong! 9am train was nearly fully booked and the next available
train was at 16.00!!!!!
I call home and ask my sister to try a book online, save time waiting in the
queue for the few remaining seats. She told me the website crashed! Copy That!
- I head for the train ticket office.
8.30am: Brought train ticket to Dover. £33
8.45am: Took a train to Dover.
10.10am: Arrived in Dover, I hadn’t a clue where to go. No one around so
I followed a French family to the shuttle bus stop.
10.45am - 11.30am: Arrived at the Ferry Ticket Office. One way ticket to
Calais. £18
11.30am- All aboard!! Took the ferry to Calais, tried to sleep. Switch
off phone to save battery.
14.30: Arrived in Calais, foot passengers left to defend for ourselves,
no signs, bus stop, directions, or tourist information. Rien! And it starts to
rain. Shuttle bus finally arrives and takes us to the bus stop.
A kind Englishwomen could see I was stressed (I didn’t think I would make it to
Paris never mind Cannes) and gave me advice on train times to Paris. There was
no way I was going to make that last train. Merde!
15.10: Took the bus to Calais Train Station - it’s pissing it down and
I’m soaked.
15.30:
Made it to the train station and found my Guardian Angel, a very helpful ticket
seller who spoke perfect English. After a few minutes of talking with my Angel and
Monsieur X, who is shouting at me down the phone, telling me to ask for other
routes to Marseille, Nice or Miramas (there wasn’t any), I pay for an overnight
train to Cannes via Paris. 130€
15.50: At the wrong train station - run in the rain for a taxi to TGV
station - Damm it!
16.10: Arrived at TGV station and run for my train this was due to leave
in 2 minutes.
16.15: Train departs to Paris Nord. I flop on my seat with relief. Call
home and Monsieur X, (he had calmed down) with my travel updates. Switch off
phone again.
18.05: Arrived in Paris it was good I had four hours before my next train
journey, or I would have been shitting myself.
18.20: Took the Metro from Paris Nord to Paris Austerlitz. I couldn’t
believe I was travelling around France and Paris on my own, until the Metro
came out of the tunnel into the Paris sunshine over the River Seine and seeing
lots of tacky souvenir shops near Austerlitz full of Eiffel Towers of all sizes
and materials.
18.35 - 20.25: Walked around Paris, tired and lonely. I found a shower
room in another train station, I was so dirty and so was the shower room, so I
cut my losses and when back to Austerlitz train station where I noticed there
was a shower room there (eh oui very French). I thought it was just a
hairdressers. I had a shower, and felt a million times better, mainly because I
wouldn’t be too rough and scruffy when I would meet Monsieur X the next morning.
Damm it! Only 2 bars left on my mobile.
My back was starting to hurt as my large sports bag had no wheels, so I had
been carrying it on my shoulders for most of the day, my shoulders were so red
it looked like sunburn (and hurt for most of my Cannes stay).
22.25: Found my seat at the cheap end of the night train. I never booked
a bed as it would have been around 400€. Called home and Monsieur X again to
update and switched off the phone again. Bonne Nuit et Au Revoir Paris.
22.50: Train departed, I had no trouble sleeping on my uncomfortable
seat, tres fatigue. I woke up around
6am, I had been travelling for over 24 hours and all the hassle and stress this
journey had caused me was made a little bit worth it seeing the French countryside
and coast at sunrise. Switched phone on, down to one bar of battery, hoping it
would not go flat until I was with Monsieur X.
8.30am 18/05/10: I had reached my destination - Cannes train station. I
looked a mess and walking up the steep train station stairs, my back felt like
it was going to snap from the weight of my bag but seeing Monsieur X’s gorgeous
smile at the top of the stairs made me feel my 31 hour trip was totally worth
it as I flopped into his strong arms...
hmmmm an idea for a film....take it to Cannes....it would be so much better
than Mr Bean’s holiday.
Last
Night Danny Regan came to Boredville, well his alter-ego Donnie Wahlberg
did.Yes my favourite boy band is New
Kids on the Block (Take That a close second) and last night they played the
Birmingham LG Arena along with the Backstreet Boys.Changing the words a little to ‘You Got It
(The Right Stuff) – ‘First time I
couldn’t go*.Second time was a blast
**. Third time I fell in love…with Donnie again’.
*My
Mom wouldn’t let me go.
**
17 January 2009 – Birmingham NIA, all good things come to those who wait…20
years.
With
the UK being back in recession this concert was very considerate about my lack
of cash and pending unemployment – 2 boy bands for the price of 1! Plus an
added bonus of no costume changes breaks.It was NKOTBSB, then NKOTB, then BSB, NKOTB, BSB, you get the idea and
then at the end NKOTBSB performed a cool mash up of ‘Backstreet’s Back’ and
‘Hangin Tough’.Obviously the DailyMail.co.uk
journalist and I must have watched totally different shows as they were
excellent and definitely not slow. I would like to see Justin Bieber and One
Direction performing as well as NKOTBSB in 20 years’ time. My favourite bits
were 'You Got It (The Right Stuff)', 'Cover Girl', 'Hangin Tough', 'I Want It That Way'
and 'All I Have To Give'. Just one negative and improvement for their next tour –
Joey New Kid should perform his beautiful song ‘Stay the Same’.
Before
last night’s concert I did wonder if it would be weird watching a tough guy,
NYPD Detective singing and dancing about his ‘Cover Girl’ (as I try not to live
in the real world).But the baggy
trousers, Run DMC T-shirt, baseball cap and bling made sure Detective Regan
staying in New York and Pop Star Wahlberg was entertaining the Birmingham crowd
especially me.
Donnie,
the rest of NKOTB, Backstreet Boys and the rest of the Regan Family are all my
favour of the month.
Now what shall I to do now? Switch on
my iPod or watch this week’s Blue Bloods?
This
time last weekend I was on a break from my ‘telecommade’,
spending four nights in Verbier, Switzerland, thanks to an invite from Monsieur
X.Before he told me about this place,
the only thing I knew about Verbier was the rich and famous go there. So what’s
good enough for Prince Harry and Richard Branson it’s good enough for
me…however not having the same bank balance as them how could I visit Verbier
with only £400 in my holiday fund? 1.I can’t ski (learning to snowboard is on my
bucket list), so no ski pass, extra baggage charges or ski rentals. 2.No need to take out a
mortgage to stay at a 5 star hotel as I was staying at Maison de X.
I
flew out on Easyjet’s last winter flight from Birmingham and returned to
Manchester five days later. The flight was only £150 and I booked it two weeks
before departure. For once my flight was on time (yes I was shocked too),
giving me an hour to pop in my contact lenses, sort out my hair and hope I looked
at least 7 out of 10 for when I met Monsieur X.The train station was connected to Geneva airport and the credit card ticket
machines were easy to use after I called him to find out what train station I
was going to – Le Châble changing at Martigny. And if I had an extra 30 minutes after the mini
make –over I would have hit the shops in the station instead of standing in front
of a mirror.
My
train was on time (living in England I’m not used to this luxury), but I did
stress a little as the information board didn’t mention Martigny, no one on
the platform to ask and a long queue at the information office. I don’t think I
started to relax until after Geneva station when the train conductor said ‘changer
à Martigny’. A return train ticket from Geneva Airport to
La Chable cost 104CHF, it would have
been cheaper booking the ticket on the Internet but I didn’t trust my plane to
land on time never mind early.Even thou
the two and half hour train journey was expensive the views of Lake Geneva was
worth every Franc.The journey from the
airport to Lausanne could have been any city out to any countryside, views of
factories, apartment blocks and fields but there were little glimpses of the Lake.
The future away from Geneva the more of the Lake and mountains I could see.
Then after Lausanne the views are amazing and relaxing passing though Montreux
on the way. The closer I got to Verbier my stress levels reduced – screw work
and my problems; I’m surrounded by a beautiful lake and its surroundings.
not the best photo on a moving train
Looking
at the train timetable it looked like a tight change over at Martigny, I only had five minutes to change
platforms from getting off at platform 2 and catching a local train to Le
Chable at platform 50! Stress level went up again however there are only 5 platforms
at Martigny 1,2,3,4 and 50.
Pheww!!!! Another 20 minutes going up to Le Châble
and Monsieur X. I was getting nervous as I haven’t seen my best friend for 18
months and a lot of water had gone under our bridge.
I
didn’t have to worry, he was happy to see me, as I was happy to see him and
relieved I had no more travelling to do for a few days…apart from going up to
Verbier. From Le Châblestation up to
Verbier can be reached by bus or cable car and we opted to travel by cable car
(11CHF). More amazing views of the mountains and at this time of year there was
more green than white.
For a non-skier Verbier is very small, majority
of the bars, restaurants and shops in walking distance from the ‘place centrale’ roundabout.With my own personal Holiday Rep and
translator, the first bar I experienced was the Central T Bar complete with Sky
TV, and enjoyed my first beer of the weekend.The average cost of a small beer in Verbier was around 4CHF, a coffee 3.50CHF
and a hot chocolate 4CHF. For dinner we
went to Borsalino Pizzeria nearby, sharing pizza and a pasta dish. It was one
of the best pasta dishes I have had since working in Sicily. The meals and a
bottle of wine cost around 60CHF.We
ended the evening with a night cap at Le Cosy Bar, (http://www.phenix-verbier.com/verbier/cosybar_francais.html) a small, quiet and yes –cosy bar next to the bus
station.
While Monsieur X when to work, I spend the majority of Friday morning dying on a sofa (hangover, tiredness or Altitude sickness - who knows) in the Medran bar, trying not to get my bad head kicked in by children on the nearly rock climbing wall. My plan was to sleep off my sickness at Mansion de X, but the steep peaceful walk down to Médières helped my headache. Fresh air is the best medicine but I did feel like I was having a heart attack half way back up thou.
Médières
My
appetite was back and fondue was on (every) menu.Fondue Fromage at Le Caveau, Place Centrale
was plat de jour and the strong cheese smell drew us into this popular
restaurant and making me feel more hungry.Le Caveau friendly staff made us feel very welcome and served up an
amazing meal of Fondue, plate of meats and a bottle of wine (101CHF). Before
heading back to Médières a visit to Nelson’s bar opposite the bus
station, a English looking bar with live music (or a DJ) and a nightcap at the
Loft bar next door.
Saturday
the plan was to visit the museum ‘musee aplin’ however it was closed. Please
note it opens at 2pm. The quiet (and I think empty) Centre Culturel du Hameau
complex surrounding the museum would be amazing if the rich would invest in a
few new bar and restaurant business venues.At this present time only the ducks was taking advantage of the scenery.
On the way back down to ‘Place Centrale’ we stopped off at Le Adrian Hotel for
a drink. We only saw the reception and the bar of this 5* star hotel, but I could
live this type of life. It was back to reality and I was hungry again, no
100CHF fondue this time just fish and chips at the sandwich bar near the bus
station. 10CHF for a cone of chips and fish ‘nuggets’ thrown in.
The
evening started in le Cosy Bar for a quiet one, before playing pool in the Big
Ben pub and watching how the ‘other half’ party in Le Casita. Monsieur X was
working at a birthday party and I sat at the bar drooling over the wasted food
as it went back to the kitchen bins.We
did manage to have a piece of birthday cake and a free beer. Another nightcap
in Nelson’s bar finishing off the night falling asleep in the smoking bar.
Sunday
we headed down to Le Châble for a bit of cow fighting ‘combats
de reines’ very popular but with an entrance fee of 15CHF which was the
same price as three small beers. We opted for the drinks at Le Châble’s Restaurant de Gietroz
and Le Chat Bleu (the food menu looked amazing I hate being poor). My last
evening in Switzerland was started in the Medran bar; Monsieur X said there was
a rock concert there. I would say it was a pub band that played at the Nelson
the night before. Bon Jovi is a rock concert.After the ‘concert’ it was the Le Fer a Cheval for more drinks and ChezMartin (www.chezmartin.ch) for pizza. Very
tasty but I think Borsalino just beat it.
So
time to price it up, did I still to my budget.
Flight: £160
Train: 105 CHF
(Geneva – La Châble standard return ticket) = £80
Drinks: 70CHF
ish(beaucoup small beers and hot chocolates) = £50 ish
Food:
90CHF(pizza, pasta and fish and chips Monsieur X paid for the Fondue) = £70
Buses and cable
car: 35CHF (one way cable car 11CHF, one way bus ticket 3CHF – 4.20CHF) =
£27
TOTAL= £390
It can be done…just! You just need
your only Monsuier X and no intention to ski.
It
maybe not be part of my TV travel bucket list, but it was an excellent trip
with excellent views, excellent food and of course an excellent friend.
The
only negative part of my trip was at the UK passport control at Manchester
Airport…they let me back into the country. Back to reality, back to redundantly
and back to 70% of Sky box memory to watch.
We wish to
bring a few issues regarding your behaviour on your recent holiday to your
attention. Firstly we would like to confirm that we do not offer discounts on
our excursions for guests on benefits, our company policy is if you're
receivingjob seekers, tax credits, child
benefit etc AND you can pay for a foreign holiday, this must mean you can
afford an overpriced booze cruise. On the subject of costs, as your holiday
documents clearly stated your booking was for 7 nights at alate choice 2 star accommodation on arrival,
costing £200 each not the 4 star hotel
you yelled about at our underpaid and overworked Holiday Rep. If you preferred
to stay in luxury then unfortunately you do have to pay for it.
We would also
like to inform you about issues regarding the rest of your family. For future
reference the elderly members of your group should remember to take our holiday
insurance or at least bring enough money to pay for their air ambulance home, as
we, the local hospitals and insurance companies to not give out free medicines
and operations. Not matter how many wars they have served in or how many times
they say ‘in my day’.
Regarding
your children’s illnesses, the food in the hotel did not make your children
sick, it was the fact you couldn’t control and stop your children from eating 4
hamburgers, 25 chicken nuggets and 2 ice creams before noon. Also another
factor (or lack of it) is if you don’t put sunblock on your child then they
will turn red and constantly complain about the pain they are suffering. This
is not the responsibility of the Holiday Rep or the Hotel.
Thank you for
informing our Holiday Rep of your family history and connections, like most of
our (unhappy) customers, we are aware that many of them also have family
members who are lawyers, journalists or work for TV programmes which specialises
in holiday industry. We have learnt that hundreds of people have family members
that work for Watchdog.
Thank you for
your time and we look forward to you booking your next holiday with someone
else.
Kind regards
Your friendly P*ssed off Holiday Company.
P.S If you get drunk and high then decide to jump off your balcony, don’t come running to us.
FYI - Benidorm the itv show - series 1: brilliant. The rest: recycled jokes.
