Winter TV Fitness Plan

One of my horoscopes this month said ‘travelling overseas is a no-no this month…there are things you can do to keep busy at home’ and another (yes I read them all) said ‘if you make a fitness promise to yourself, you’ll keep it’.  So I made a promise to get my flat stomach and thighs back in time for the spring because at the moment my abs is covered in fat. 

Saving for next year’s unplanned travels and waiting for so many of my favourite shows to return (so glad Walking Dead is back) I have no excuses not to get off the sofa, I’m broke and exercising at home is free.  The summer can be a terrible time for me and probably other lonely TV Addicts, there is nothing to watch apart from re-runs (Do TV channels think everyone is going out every night during the summer? Firstly some of us are Billy No Mates and secondly it’s the UK it rains!).  However the winter can be worse, yes there is a lot of amazing programmes to watch but this usually results in chocolate and crisps and maybe an ice cream if I’m feeling really bored and greedy.

So where do I start with this winter workout plan?  Every time I switch to the Fitness Channel it’s always adverts (remember I’m broke).  Weight loss reality shows are boring and I think excess skin should come with a ‘scenes of a stressing nature’ warning at the start of the show. Health magazines often state no eating after 8pm which is difficult when I’m watching the Hannibal box set or Walking Dead.  I did start my fitness regime with a few hours of sports this weekend…the ATP Tennis World Finals on Sky Sports and now I have BT Sport and ESPN this means I can now watch Ligue 1, for the quality of football not Frenchmen in shorts. 

No seriously I have started (honest) with the no eating after 8pm, step ups while watching 30mins sitcoms, squats when I’m waiting for the kettle to boil and a few yoga stretches and sit ups while watching the box. Some mornings before work I’m roll out of bed and try and convince myself going to the gym is a good thing. I go to the cheapest gym in Birmingham and use the bike and cross trainer and when I flagging and ready to give up on comes the Smash soundtrack or maybe my Sky Go/News app to take my mind off the pain for another 10-15 minutes.   Not sure its helping but my mood is clearer for a dull day in the office of rude and demanding emails and sitting down exercises. 

No pain no gain!

Glee v Smash: Battle Of The Singers

Glee series 5 is on then off again (tres annoying) and Smash has come to an end for good.  I wish it was visa versa and Smash could continue for a few more seasons.

I’m officially over the Glee thing. The first few soundtracks were great, and the first season was fresh and original as Fame was before downloaded music but the sickly sweet taste of American all singing school kids isn’t my bag.  My Movie Mate doesn’t have Sky TV and if I didn’t have to record it for her I would have gave up after series 2. Let’s face it no series based in an American school will ever be as good as ‘Saved by the Bell’ and they didn’t even sing.

With Smash, there are big similarities, all singing Americans chasing their dreams of stardom. The adverts for the first season looked like Glee for adults which made me think twice about watching it. However there wasn’t anything else to watch on that particular night so I gave it ago and loved it, probably because I realized I too am an adult with dreams (luckily for the world my ambitions does not involve singing) not a teenage misfit.  It’s not cheesy, it’s classy and there isn’t many covers mostly originals and the soundtrack is excellent especially ‘Let Me Be Your Star’.

In Series 2, it seems American Idol rejects Katharine McPhee and Jennifer ‘blink and your miss her’ Hudson have more success in their careers than the actual winners of the British X factors. I can’t imagine Miss Hudson imprisoned in the Big Brother house or the Australian jungle or Miss McPhee saying ‘you want fries with that’.  Its more unlikely to be one of our British wannabes Pop Stars due to the fact these American singers actually do have the X Factor. 

So who would win the battle of the vocal chords? The girl next door chasing her dream of performing on Broadway, two great singers and Karen Cartwright doesn’t have much of an ego unlike Rachel Berry. So Rachel would kill for a part while Karen would concede defeat. Ivy Lynn might put up a good fight but my money would still be on Rachel. 

The leader of the packs Derek Wills is more Sue than Schu; maybe if Will Schuester and Tom Levitt teamed up together, the nice guys might not come last and bring down the Dirty Derek.

Then there is the final fight – the heavyweight round, not in size but in attitude and not with punches but with sharp tongues and excellent pull downs. Maybe Eileen would win on points knocking Sue down with her cold stare.

So as the curtain falls on Smash, Karen and Co you will be missed and hopefully not long before Glee goes too…or my friend gets satellite TV installed.

 

 

 

 

Best Day Ever - Bon Jovi live at Villa Park

9^th June 2013 – Best Day Ever...so far! Is all I can say but that would be a very short post. Bon Jovi’s Because We Can concert was probably the greatest ever performance at Villa Park and I’m an Aston Villa fan.  I have never seen JBJ in my home town and for him to be at my football team's ground made it extra special.

 

 

Being a member of the fan ‘Backstage with Jon Bon Jovi’ Fan Club we brought the Diamond VIP Backstage packages (450$ - diamond circle ticket, backstage tour, journal and programme).  Gold stars for the fan club everything was well organised, staff were helpful and polite and our ‘guide’ on the 25 minutes tour knew her stuff. The backstage tour was exactly what it was –  roadies explaining how the gadgets work, we saw the instruments, including Jon’s guitars,  and a sneak peak into Jon’s dressing room where  he had a picture of Frank Sinatra and a framed motto – ‘Play like a Champion’ (now my motto too). Being a Villa fan too walking on to the stage had a double meaning, one – I was walking the steps my idol would 4 hours later and two I had the chance to be pictured saying ‘Good Evening Villa Park’ with the Holte End behind me.

Jon's Guitars                                       Backstage View 

The 2 hours and 50 minutes show was non-stop, none of these costume changes and video clips in between songs the younger acts have, Jon and the boys was on full power with only one and half encores (they never actually left the stage for the second encore) and Jon went off stage for a few minutes in the middle of Keep The Faith to change this jacket once.  Without Richie Sambora, Jon spend most of the show with playing his guitar in the centre of the stage, he only went out into the crowd along the walkway (which also had my foot print on it) once for In These Arms.  This is a biased review and I can’t think of any Bon Jovi which I don’t like,  I do get bored of listening to Shout in the middle of Bad Medicine but they didn’t perform it and Who Says You Can’t Go Home can go on for ever but this time it wasn’t the extended version.  I did miss Richie and for Wanted Dead or Alive his absence was very noticeable.

 

 

There usually no point to looking at previous Bon Jovi concert set lists as apart from 10 to 15 songs , the other 10 change from concert to concert.  Born to Be My Baby is my all-time favourite so a highlight of my night along with my other favourites It’s My Life, Have a Nice Day and Livin On A Prayer.  I hadn’t heard Bed of Roses or Always for a few tours so it was good to be reminded how great these songs are live and I loved the new songs from the What About Now album – I think Because We Can will be a concert favourite for future tours it really went down well with the crowd.

There were only three negatives about this amazing day, band  and concert, of course no Richie,  Jon constantly spitting over my football ground and only one merchandise stand on the pitch which came with a 5% credit card change and an one hour wait to be served.  Other than that Bon Jovi played like champions and it still was the Best Day Ever!

 

 

Villa Park Set List - 9th June 2013

 

1. That's What The Water Made Me.
2. You Give Love A bad Name.
3. Born To Be My Baby.
4. Raise Your Hands.
5. Lost Highway.
6. Runaway.
7. It's My Life.
8. Because We can.
9. What About Now.
10. We Got It Going On.
11. Keep The Faith.
12. Amen
13. Bed Of Roses.
14. Captain Crash & The Beauty Queen.
15. We Weren't Born To Follow.
16. Who Says You Can't Go Home.
17. Rockin' All Over The World.
18. Sleep When I'm Dead.
19. Bad Medicine/ Old Time Rock And Roll.
20. Dry Country.
21. Wanted Dead Or Alive.
22. In These Arms.
23. Happy Now.
24. Have A Nice Day.
25. Livin On A Prayer.
26. Always.
27. Blood on Blood.

 



Isle of Wight: Can £9.50 go a long way?

No trip to France this month it was time for our annual The Sun newspaper £9.50 holiday much to the relief of my bank balance. This year’s long weekend was to the Isle of Wight so technically that counts as ‘abroad’ right?

Let’s just get the cost out of the way a ‘Sun £9.50 holiday’ don’t cost £9.50, unless you’re so tight you take your own bed linen and prefer to stay in a caravan without electricity instead of using the holiday park’s facilities.  This year’s four night trip cost around £45 each which included upgrading to a cottage, electricity, linen, park passes, and ferry (priority loading with Red Funnel) for four people. Where in the UK can you stay in a hotel for 3 nights for a total price of £45 apart from a few bail hostels or DSS hotels?

We chose to stay at the Rookery Country Park as it is situated in the centre an excellent location for exploring the island and a car journey from the Country Park to the north, south, west and east worked out to be around 40 minutes. Our upgrade to a cottage was a spacious bungalow with the usual mod-cons you might find in a mobile home along with a washing machine and my personal favourite a dishwasher.  It just needed Sky TV for the accommodation to be perfect.  As it was the middle of May and low season (or very low season), the park’s chip shop was shut and there wasn't many guests staying here, they were either fellow ‘£9.50ers’, die hard fisherman who sat around the fishing lake in the rain or wedding guests.   The entertainment room was closed for two nights (due to the wedding)so the entertainers did their acts in the bar/reception.,  but as we were only using the park as a base we were too tired on the night to worry about the lack of space.

Starting in the North we visited Osborne House, Queen Victoria’s home (£13.40 entrance fee). I was dragged there by my Mom but it was actually very interesting and it took a couple of hours to walk around the house and grounds where Queen Vic holidayed and died. It was a long walk to the Swiss Cottage where her children played and her private beach, gold stars for the person who came up with the idea of a shuttle bus we only walked from the Swiss Cottage to the beach and that was hard work so we might not have bothered if there was no transport between the house, cottage and beach. 

Osborne House

Queen Victoria's private beach

 

To the (South) East, there is Shaklin Beach very quiet (again very low season) but The Waterfront Inn’s lunchtime menu food was very tasty and well-priced (jacket potato and prawns with a hot drink £8). It had a beautiful sea view and a helpful waiter who kept breaking out into song, maybe hoping someone in the restaurant was friends with Simon Cowell.  A bit further up the coast from Shaklin was Sandown which looked like a nice place in the summer, but on a raining Sunday in May it didn’t look so good and we only walked three quarters long the pier as the wind and rain was to strong for us to reach the end, a cup of tea in the pier cafe was more inviting. 

Going west was my favourite part of this weekend the Jimi Hendrick status outside the Dimbola Lodge Museum in Freshwater. The statue was to commemorate Jimi’s appearance at the Isle of Wight Festival in 1970,the Dimbola Lodge was the home of Victorian photographer Julia Margaret Cameron and the lodge shows her work and exhibits other photographers work. We weren’t keen on walking around a museum (holiday fatigue kicking in) so it made our day that ‘Jimi’ was in front of the museum. Perfectly placed next to the car park but away from the entrance, I could take my photos and leave without feeling guilty about not buying an admission ticket. 

 

 

Jimi Hendrick status

 

With the corners kind of covered we went into the Centre to Newport. I think we took a wrong turning in Newport, as the Centre wasn’t any different to any other English City Centre, same shops, same coffee shops but it wasn’t a wasted journey as The George Pub’s pasta bolognese and garlic bread was gorgeous, filing and probably my favourite meal of the weekend. This pub offered daily specials for only £7 - £9 and this particular portion was massive. 

My holiday tip for other Isle of Wight virgins is pick up a copy of Island Visitor magazine, on the cover is states ‘ The essential guide to the Isle of Wight’ and it is! We only visited a few places and there is so much more to see that a few return visits have been added to my travel bucket list. 

Now it’s time to stop travelling for a few months and start saving for my next trip – its back to the TV, I hope my sky box as recorded some good stuff over the last few months.

 

 

Useful websites/addresses

Rookley Country Park - http://www.rookleycountrypark.co.uk/
Osborne House – www.english-heritage.org.uk
Dimbola lodge museum - http://www.dimbola.co.uk/
Waterfront Inn, 19 Esplanade, Shanklin, P037 6BN
The George Pub, 92 St James' St, Town Centre, Newport (IOW) PO30 1LB

Help! I think I've turned American

I dream I could take a pill and be able to speak fluent French and live happily in Provence thanks to my lottery win (still waiting for my numbers to come up). However recently I think I’m an American.

The signs are:

1.   After hundreds of hours of revision disguised as watching TV. I’m sure I’m fully qualified to work for any of these three letters - BAU, NCIS, CTU, FBI, CIA, SUV, CBI etc. I think I know more about the US Navy than the British one. Semper Fi!

2.   If I ever had kids – I think Dexter, Walden, Chandler, Brick and Axel are great names for them.

3.   I ‘profile’ everyone (reason 1001 why I’m still single) including family, friends and work colleagues and I’m sure a few of them show serial killer/psychopath characteristics.

4.   Obsessed with random numbers – what does they mean? Is it the end of the world? Where do the threads lead to? 

5.   My manners have improved my swearing has been reduced to letters. For true no B.S you S.O.B! But I have stopped myself from calling people Sir and Ma’am

6.   When I watch Sky, BBC and France 24 news I think unsubs and perps instead of suspects and defendants and if I ever found myself in trouble I would ‘lawyer up’.

7.   I think there is a ‘Revolution’ coming whenever there is a power cut or when my phone/laptop battery is low. I’ve even printed a few of my favourite photos just in case.

8.  My walk to the office with other Wage Slaves it feels like I’m stuck in a Walking Dead episode I feel more Walker than Walker Bait.

9.  Even after 9 years since its last episode I SO still speak like Chandler…and continue to use their catchphrases.  For Example ‘I’m not just a hat stand my friend’ & ‘Lips moving still talking’.

10.If I ever suffer from a blunt force trauma I wouldn’t go to Casualty I would go to the ER.

I still have a bit of Britishness left in me.  I don’t have the same appetite like Hannibal, I haven’t felt the need to fight crime with a bow and arrow and  I haven’t broken out into song yet like Glee or Smash and in Birmingham the only music in the streets is usually the out of tune local loons and drunks not like the talented bunch in Treme.

All I can now say is God Bless America!!!

24 hours in Marseille: An unplanned weekend

I was supposed to be in Courchevel for the last weekend of ski season but due to my best friend/Holiday Rep Monsieur X’s winter season finishing two weeks early I was a girl with a flight ticket but nowhere to go. Oui! The easiest way to get to Marseille from the UK is direct flights from most London airports with Air France, Ryanair, Easyjet and BA. Moi - on the other hand arrived via Geneva as the train ticket return from Marseille (£145ish) was still cheaper than booking new flights and you can’t moan about a train ride though the beautiful Provence countryside. 

 

My detour to Marseille took me 7 hours via Culoz yes I never heard of the place either (it looked like a very nice field) and Lyon arriving at Marseille St Charles Train Station very tired, hungry and happy to be in the 2013’s European Capital of Culture. The last time I visited Marseille was 7 years ago and I felt the city was much cleaner now than back in 2005, this was at 10pm and I was proved right the next morning. We stayed one night  for 70€ at the Hotel Lutetia, 38 Allée Léon Gambetta, which is a  few minutes’ walk from the train station. A small room modern and clean, the shower was big enough for a small child and so was the lift – it could only take two people standing side by side without bags. But the bed was so comfortable and we couldn’t hear much (if any) city centre noise from outside just what I needed after my detour.

 

Next day after walking down the narrow and sometimes steep side streets we found another hotel for the night in the business district Le Joliette – The B&B La Joliette, 52 rue de Forbin, 13002, right next to the Metro Station and a weekend rate of 58€ (without breakfast) – a bigger bedroom and a much bigger shower – luxury for us adult sized humans.

After dumping our bags and a layer of clothing (it was so hot) we brought a Metro/tram 24 hours pass for 5€ and headed to the free Funny Zoo Park at the Palais Longchamp Park at the Cinq Avenue Longchamp Metro Stop. This park is full of bright coloured animal (and random dinosaurs!) statues ‘living in their original cages’. 

Funny Zoo 'animals'

 

 

Then back into the City Centre and the Vieux Port where we saw more of these animals scattered around the city for its Capital of Culture year. After window shopping and taking more photos of the ‘funny animals’ we stopped off at the Marseille Football Club bar - L'OM Cafe in the port.  For a Marseille Football Fan like myself I would have preferred to watch a match (I have caught the travel football bug after my Paris trip) but as they were playing away a trip to the club shop and bar was enough for me…for this trip.

 



Vieux Port

 

A few more drinks around the port before we took the Petit Train tour to the Church on the top of the hill - Notre-Dame de la Garde, we past the island Château d'If -  famous for being one of the settings of Alexandre Dumas novel Count of Monte Cristo Island (another film connection ticked).  The tour lasted about 1 ½ hour and this included 20 minutes stop at the Notre Dame de la Garde to take loads of photo of the views of Marseille all for only 7€.

Notre Dame de la Garde

View from Notre Dame de la Garde - middle island is Château d'If

Heading back down the hill was very bumpy and steep and once we reached the end of our tour it was back to bars to watch the sun go down over the port drinking happy hour cocktails at the very busy Exit Bar on the corner of Quai Rive Neuve and Rue Fort Notre Dame before dinner at the nearby restaurant - Restaurant Le 13, 13 Quai Rive Neuve, Vieux Port, 13007 Marseille for Salmon and Pasta for 13€ and a hell of lot of wine.

I wish we could have spent another few days in Marseille (we went to Salon-De-Provence for an evening to recover) to see some of the other exhibitions and events going on, however this weekend was unplanned and it feels to me these sort of weekends are the best and this one was.

My Top Tip for visiting Marseille – The perfect hangover cure after the day and night before – Steak and Chips at the Brasserie De Joliette, 7 Place de la Joliette for 10€. The portions were massive!


Useful Websites

http://www.restaurantle13marseille.com/

http://www.lutetia-marseille.com/

http://www.hotel-bb.com/fr/hotels/marseille-centre-la-joliette.htm?utm_content=redirect

http://funnyzoo.net/

http://www.petit-train-marseille.com/

http://marseillecityofculture.eu/capital-of-culture.html

http://www.mp2013.fr/?lang=en
 

Harry Potter – Hogwarts, Watford (and Edinburgh)

I haven’t read the books and have only watched the films as part of my duty as a caring daughter to my Potter loving Mother. Harry Potter is a small start to my TV/Film travel adventures but I got to start somewhere.

 

http://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/

 

The Harry Potter Studio Tour in Watford, London to a Harry Potter fan (I like to call them ‘Potter Nuts’) they would know what prop, costume and set were used in what film and which particular storyline. To an ‘Anti Harry’ aka moi being close to film sets and special effects made the £30 ticket value for money so to a Potter Nut it must have been priceless.

When the doors opened and we walked into the great hall even I was impressed – just don’t look up: Spoiler Alert – no roof, that’s where the computer geeks come into it. I don’t want to spoil the surprises for the Potter Nuts who haven’t been yet but it took my little group of Nuts three hours to walk around ‘Hogwarts’ and some of the videos explaining different parts of the making of the films we didn’t stop to watch them all so this tour could actually last all day.

The tour can be spilt into 2 ½ parts. Part One: Sets, costumes, props and an opportunity to fly on a broomstick or the Weasley car and then you can pay £16 for a photo to prove you did it. The more photos you buy the cheaper they are we brought 5 costing just over £5 a photo.

Part 1 ½ is outdoors, Privet Road, the bus, the motorbike and side car and the bridge where Harry and Voldemort fight it out.  It’s where you can try the Butter Beer at £2.99 for an espresso sized drink (£6.99 if you buy a small beaker with it), but as it was a freezing March day the tea and coffee was a much better choice and price.

With Part 2 there were more special effects mainly puppets and the mechanics on how the puppets/models worked and drawings and cardboard models showing where the filmmaker’s imagination and skills turned JK Rowling’s words into a film set.  Then just before the gift shop there is the Hogwarts model – it will take your breath away. These photos do not do it justice. To me they saved the best till last.

Note to all Potter Nuts save hard because there is a lot goodies in the gift shop; this is your Disney World.  The shop covers everything clothing, toys, food, mugs, fridge magnets, and if you have worn out your books and DVDs you know this shop is fully stocked up. A few price examples on what’s on offer:   £25 for a wand (plenty of wands to choose from) or £4 for a chocolate one.

Only last winter I went to Edinburgh (my first non-boozy weekend there) and walking around the steep streets and the castle shaped old buildings on a quiet Sunday morning I could see where JK Rowling got some of her inspiration. It felt wrong not to have a cup of tea in the Elephant Café where JR wrote some of her Potter stories.  So I’ve had a tea at where it all started and now I’ve been to the building where it all ended.  Maybe I might watch a few of the films again to spot the props we saw on our day out.

 

 

Mr Beckham… at least we have Paris!

He isn’t my ideal date in the City of Love but my sister adores Saint Beckham and I adore Paris. She got to see him warm up and stretch for most of the game and I got to see the Eiffel Tower and the Notre Dame so everyone’s a winner.

I didn’t know how booking a 24 hour Paris football trip would be so stressful, ah oui I should have paid more attention to my French lessons. As we were only going to the capital for one night we couldn’t book flights or the hotel until the kick off was announced (due to the TV rights the games could have been on a Friday night, Saturday or a Sunday afternoon).I was constantly checking the Paris Saint-German website and Ligue 1 app and once the kick off time was announced, the stress continued.

Who shall I book the tickets with? Direct with the club via their French website or via the official seller English speaking Viagogo easier to understand but as terrible online reviews. I did try to book tickets with Guardiantickets.co.uk (it was Viagogo in disguise) and after picking my tickets I got to the delivery page and it said they wouldn’t post the tickets I would have to arrange a pick up place with the seller or they could post them to a French address – too fishy for me so with Google Translate I booked the tickets for Saturday’s PSG v Nancy game directly with the football club. Tickets ranged from 40€ - 100€, I paid 60€ for a ticket in the middle tier (bleu bas) of the Présidentielle stand and if that stand was good enough for Mrs Beckham it was good enough for me.

10 out of 10 to Paris Saint-Germain for their customer service (6 out of 10 for my bad French emails to them). I was unsure if they would post the tickets to a non-French address or if I would have to collect them from the ticket office on the day. They reassured me that they posted the tickets to my English address 10 days before the match and it I didn’t receive they would issue duplicates on match day if I had I.D and the ticket reference number. Luckily my tickets did arrive so Bravo billetterie@psg.fr !

 

Parc des Princes

Flights from Birmingham to Paris Charles de Galle were £121 return with Air France (flew with Flybe), 9.50€ for a train/metro pass and the small and modern Holiday Inn Auteuil (5 minutes’ walk from the Stadium and 2 minutes from the Porte de St Cloud metro stop) was 100€ for one night. Room 40 is an oven when the sun is shining. The hotel rate could have been a little cheaper if I had booked with these hotel comparison websites but after our London overbooking experience last month I booked direct with the hotel. Less stress is priceless and because of our early morning flight and that we were too tired to take public transport, the hotel booked our taxi back to the airport for Sunday morning (30m minutes journey for 65€).

 Becks warming up

 

Paris Saint-Germain maybe the richest club in the world but as a long way to go before they are in the same league as Manchester United, the Milans, Real Madrid Barcelona and Bayern Munich. Apart from playing better – the first half Paris was terrible and their star player Ibrahimovic didn’t show his brilliance until an hour into the game – maybe they could build on their merchandising. The shop at Parc des Princes was very small compared to Premiership clubs and Beckham shirts at 110€ each (70€ for a shirt without a name) aren’t going to pay all his bills. No programmes, no much choice of food, just hot dogs and crisps and drinks on offer were fizzy, water or non –alcohol beer, much to my sister’s disgust. I dragged her around Paris on the dirty Metro and all she wanted was a beer and ended up with France’s answer to Shandy Bass. Just like football there are missed chances at the Parc des Princes so to PSG, I’m offering my ideas on football marketing to you, my wages are only 10% a year of Beckham’s weekly pay.

David Beckham came on for the last 15 minutes, easing my sister alcoholic cold turkey and for all those fellow Becks followers his contract is only until the end of this season, so book up quick if you are going for a long weekend but if you going just for the match remember to wait until the kick off time as been announced just in case they change the day to show the game on TV.

PSG remaining home fixtures

March 30             Paris Saint Germain v Montpellier

April 21                Paris Saint Germain v Nice

May 4                   Paris Saint Germain v Valenciennes

May 18                 Paris Saint Germain v Brest.

 

Spot the Beckham

The Audience – My Five Star Weekend

A break from the box last weekend it was time for a bit of culture, a five star lifestyle and an A-List Movie Star by spending a weekend in London to watch Dame Helen Mirren in the play – The Audience at the Gielgud Theatre.

The plan was to travel down to London early, visit some of the sites and enjoy some retail therapy before the play.  Not matter how many times I go to the London there is still new experiences and regular tourist spots are never boring.  This times new experience was living like a celebrity - our hotel on Shaftesbury Avenue (15 seconds away from the theatre Google said) was overbooked and they moved us to the very stylish five star hotel near Marble Arch and Hyde Park – the Mont Calm.  I can’t blame our original hotel staff, they said it was a computer glitch, and they upgraded us and paid for all our taxis. I think I saw more of London this weekend than ever before as I was travelling along the roads in people carriers with blacked out window instead of the miserable Tube. The Mont Calm staff were very pleasant and helpful and even managed to not laugh when we handed over our tatty supermarket ‘Bags for Life’ when checking in.

I had questions before the play. History and Politics aren’t my favourite things would this play keep me interested?  Will the woman from Dead the Dead Donkey play Maggie Thatcher well? Will my Thatcherite Mother approval? Will my Thatcherite Mother heckle Blair? Luckily there was no Blair but a lot of funny one-liners at his expense thou, and what does one wear when mixing with the Lovies? This was no average theatre trip to watch a touring Musical in Boredville – this was Dame Helen!  But my money was as good as any other Lovie (£76 for a stalls ticket and £14 for three drinks at the theatre bar) so my best jeans would have to do. 

This play was actually a 2 ½ hour witty history lesson of two people gossiping, it just so happened these two characters was a Head of State played by a massive Movie Star and a Prime Minister played by ‘I know that face from somewhere’ said the TV addict.   I’m still on the right side of 40 so any Prime Minister pre -Thatcher I had to ask my Mom who they were apart from Winston Churchill (Robert Hardy) of course.  John Major (Paul Ritter) actually looked like John ‘Normal’ Major. The only PM to receive applause before speaking was Margaret Thatcher (Haydn Gwynne) as she stomped on stage. I actually felt sorry for Gordon Brown (Nathaniel Parker) as his tried to dig himself out of the big hole his predecessor dug for him, jokes about Mr and Mrs Blair raised a laugh, and I feel I was in the middle of a Conservative Party Conference until David Cameron (Rufus Wright) and his fake tan came on. I could imagine him sending the Queen to sleep in real life. Yes ‘The Queen’ has the best lines closely followed by Harold Wilson (Richard McCable) who rumour as it was Her Majesty favourite PM with his straight talking and northern humour and I would agree with that option – in Theatre World, as real PMs aren’t interesting or funny. 

Scenes where the Queen is talking to her younger self showed her human side and scenes with the PMs showed her humour and that her duty mean she would always support the Government (even if she didn’t agree with certain decisions).  This script and Helen Mirren also showed that not only is Her Majesty the Head of State, she is also a part time unpaid therapist.

The next time I will probably see Queen Helen will be more Orange Wednesday (EE Wednesday doesn’t sound right) instead of Five Star Saturday.