England through the eyes of a Frenchman - Blackpool

I thought while we were ‘up north’ a night in Blackpool to see the illuminations, tacky souvenirs and dated Guest Houses would be funny and make him smile.  I think they did in a scary kind of way. Monsieur X likes to talk a lot but after a morning with his fellow art lovers the shock of driving though Blackpool town centre left him speechless.  No more Picasso lots more pound shops. 

His first (shocked) Blackpool observation as we drove around the back of the tower trying to find our Guest House and a car park: ‘I don’t know the English word for it, errr maybe cheap’ ‘tacky?’ I said, he agreed.

 

A positive point was the Guest House, the Carlton on Albert Road, great position behind the Tower (a few minutes’ walk away) and it looked like it was recently decorated, no 1960s gross wallpaper and a flat screen television but it still had some Blackpool personality.  Monsieur X is more used to the Carlton Hotel in Cannes and the next morning when his breakfast was served by a man wearing shorts and t-shirt he said ‘this would not happen in France’.

I know Blackpool looks better in the dark but I wanted this Frenchman who lives in the beautiful South of France countryside near the coast to see why so many English people visit the Mediterranean Sea in the summer.  Still shocked we walked to the end of the North Pier a perfect location for any zombie/end of the world films to be made. There was just the two of us, an elderly couple and man ‘working’ on the carousel, it wasn’t a surprise he had no customers on this cold and windy day. Monsieur X said ‘It’s like I’m back in ze 1970s’ and looking down onto the brown sea ‘ah ok I understand why the English go to France and Spain for holidays no blue here’.

I think we had only been in Blackpool for an hour and he needed a Guinness and a siesta to reduce his fear factor level from 10. But in a hotel bar opposite the Carlton, we witnessed two drunken old ladies showing Monsieur X that the drunken young English people he has seen in Spanish beach and French Ski resorts don’t actually grow out of the binge drinking habits. Old Lady A fell over in the bar and has she was helped up by other people in the bar, her friend Old Lady B said ‘watch her hip, she’s just had a new one’ – this was at 4pm. He fear level went back up a few numbers.

The evening opened his eyes to many sights mostly unsightly, yes the illuminations was interesting ‘just like Christmas lights in the street but lots of them’ he said, but the hen do groups dressed in onesies, a middle-aged large women wearing a teenager’s summer short dress or the ‘pièce de résistance’ would have to be the six women still in their leopard print pyjamas with unbrushed hair sitting on the step outside their hotel having a cigarette the next morning.

 

I’m finding it hard to remember if Monsieur X enjoyed any of this time in Blackpool.  He liked the tower and the ‘comedy blanket’ on the sea front.  I introduced him to the world of money waterfalls, where you waste your 10p or 2p coins hoping to win and you can’t go to an English seaside town and not have fish and chips on a Friday, so Harry Ramseden’s was a must and he did finish off his large portion and the bottle of wine.

Has we left the town behind, he said ‘Please don’t bring me back here’. Ah oui at least Birmingham will look good now.

Blackpool:  Merde!

 

England through the eyes of a Frenchman - Liverpool

My last trip of 2013 wasn’t very far and it wasn’t somewhere I haven’t been before. It was home and it was cities I had visited many times, but this time I saw them from a French point of view.

Five nights with my French friend Monsieur X, I was excited and nervous because every time I visited him he showed me beautiful areas of France.  I couldn’t walk him around the Bullring and Brindley Place for 4 days so I took him to a different part of England every day including Birmingham.

Monsieur X took a Ryanair flight from Marseille to East Midlands (no flights to Birmingham), and then my out of date Sat Nav took us to Liverpool.  We were only 10 minutes away from our  destination when it took us though a derelict part of the city, closed factories, industrial estates and a corner pub with smoking tracksuits and dirty hair puffing smoke outside – not a good start.

Luckily for us our hotel for one night didn’t have this view and was on our tourist walking route. The Dolby Hotel was clean and basic and the size of bathroom was what we paid for at £44 a night, yes the bathroom was very small.  The selling point was free parking and position as it is by the docks.  For Monsieur X he didn’t feel like he was in England until the heavy rain storm started when we just parked up outside the hotel.

I personally think English Cities are all the same, same shops, same bars and restaurants chains.  But Monsieur X likes lots of types of music so I thought he would find the Beatles story interesting. He did enjoy the Carven which was very busy on a Thursday night (full of tourists) and the singer played ‘Here Comes The Sun’ his favourite Beatles song, so that was gold stars for me.

 

His observation on a wet Thursday night ‘no one goes out in Liverpool’.

Next morning we had a full breakfast outside the Gallery café, Albert Docks so he could smoke and after the waitress took our order outside and asked me to go in to pay first, his second observation was ‘you English trust no one’.  A few hours in the Tate gallery, seriously what is so special about a few folded blankets and video of couple of hookers having a tattoo?  At the time there was a Chagall exhibition which to me was nice paintings to Monsieur X it was amazing works of art.

Liverpool:  C’est Bon

Fear of 40 - 18 months until leave the 30s group

Not a great start to this 18 month plan. I’m typing away crying my eyes out, so excuse the bad grammar and thank God for spellchecker. My glasses are steamed up and eyes full of tears. My cat passed away at the weekend, my car’s back window smashed in  and one of my few friends (and my French crush) has gone all distant on me without any reason and I know if I called him again so soon after our last pleasant conversation on New Year’s Eve I will officially be his pathetic stalker.  Ah oui give him space, offer my hand of friendship later on in the year.  Oh Come On! Don’t lie to myself, maybe call next month.  But it bloody hard when I’m so upset about my cat, my boss is driving me crazy and all I want is someone to talk too.

Anyway onwards and upwards! This is the first day of the rest of my life…etc etc blah blah.

Every Monday morning I dread my day of work, of course 99.9% of the population probably feel the same but it’s not so much the being overworked underpaid problem.  It’s the question that always gets asked – ‘what did you do at the weekend’.  I did this, I did that, we went here, friends came to visit etc. Then it’s my turn to answer ‘Nothing watched a bit of TV’.   I knew I would end up a lonely old cat lady living in Birmingham but I never imagined reaching this milestone at 38.

I long for the Mondays I can give a different answer or for the Mondays where I actually enjoy going to work. I just got to find that job – being chained to a desk, man managed and my work timed and documented is not the life I want. I’m very lucky to have a job but settling for any job isn’t good enough.  I have hope that the day will come when my situation will be Monday Blues free, but I want it to come sooner than later.

Have you ever seen Eat Pray Love starring Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert it’s an OK film nothing special but it did make me think about my situation. I’ve been back home (and single) for 6 years and was looking for some inspiration.

I like eating (and Italy), I only pray during football games, lottery draws and when my boss says ‘can I have a word’ before I get a bollocking and as for love, I can’t remember what that is. However the freedom to travel the world and experience new things and meeting new people makes my feet itchy again.  But where do I start?  Write my things to do before I’m 40 list and follow Elizabeth Gilbert example.  She started her journey by learning Italian, so maybe I should get the dust off my French books and give learning the language another go, well it will be my 4^th attempt after school, French best friend, and then evening classes.

Winter TV Fitness Plan

One of my horoscopes this month said ‘travelling overseas is a no-no this month…there are things you can do to keep busy at home’ and another (yes I read them all) said ‘if you make a fitness promise to yourself, you’ll keep it’.  So I made a promise to get my flat stomach and thighs back in time for the spring because at the moment my abs is covered in fat. 

Saving for next year’s unplanned travels and waiting for so many of my favourite shows to return (so glad Walking Dead is back) I have no excuses not to get off the sofa, I’m broke and exercising at home is free.  The summer can be a terrible time for me and probably other lonely TV Addicts, there is nothing to watch apart from re-runs (Do TV channels think everyone is going out every night during the summer? Firstly some of us are Billy No Mates and secondly it’s the UK it rains!).  However the winter can be worse, yes there is a lot of amazing programmes to watch but this usually results in chocolate and crisps and maybe an ice cream if I’m feeling really bored and greedy.

So where do I start with this winter workout plan?  Every time I switch to the Fitness Channel it’s always adverts (remember I’m broke).  Weight loss reality shows are boring and I think excess skin should come with a ‘scenes of a stressing nature’ warning at the start of the show. Health magazines often state no eating after 8pm which is difficult when I’m watching the Hannibal box set or Walking Dead.  I did start my fitness regime with a few hours of sports this weekend…the ATP Tennis World Finals on Sky Sports and now I have BT Sport and ESPN this means I can now watch Ligue 1, for the quality of football not Frenchmen in shorts. 

No seriously I have started (honest) with the no eating after 8pm, step ups while watching 30mins sitcoms, squats when I’m waiting for the kettle to boil and a few yoga stretches and sit ups while watching the box. Some mornings before work I’m roll out of bed and try and convince myself going to the gym is a good thing. I go to the cheapest gym in Birmingham and use the bike and cross trainer and when I flagging and ready to give up on comes the Smash soundtrack or maybe my Sky Go/News app to take my mind off the pain for another 10-15 minutes.   Not sure its helping but my mood is clearer for a dull day in the office of rude and demanding emails and sitting down exercises. 

No pain no gain!

Glee v Smash: Battle Of The Singers

Glee series 5 is on then off again (tres annoying) and Smash has come to an end for good.  I wish it was visa versa and Smash could continue for a few more seasons.

I’m officially over the Glee thing. The first few soundtracks were great, and the first season was fresh and original as Fame was before downloaded music but the sickly sweet taste of American all singing school kids isn’t my bag.  My Movie Mate doesn’t have Sky TV and if I didn’t have to record it for her I would have gave up after series 2. Let’s face it no series based in an American school will ever be as good as ‘Saved by the Bell’ and they didn’t even sing.

With Smash, there are big similarities, all singing Americans chasing their dreams of stardom. The adverts for the first season looked like Glee for adults which made me think twice about watching it. However there wasn’t anything else to watch on that particular night so I gave it ago and loved it, probably because I realized I too am an adult with dreams (luckily for the world my ambitions does not involve singing) not a teenage misfit.  It’s not cheesy, it’s classy and there isn’t many covers mostly originals and the soundtrack is excellent especially ‘Let Me Be Your Star’.

In Series 2, it seems American Idol rejects Katharine McPhee and Jennifer ‘blink and your miss her’ Hudson have more success in their careers than the actual winners of the British X factors. I can’t imagine Miss Hudson imprisoned in the Big Brother house or the Australian jungle or Miss McPhee saying ‘you want fries with that’.  Its more unlikely to be one of our British wannabes Pop Stars due to the fact these American singers actually do have the X Factor. 

So who would win the battle of the vocal chords? The girl next door chasing her dream of performing on Broadway, two great singers and Karen Cartwright doesn’t have much of an ego unlike Rachel Berry. So Rachel would kill for a part while Karen would concede defeat. Ivy Lynn might put up a good fight but my money would still be on Rachel. 

The leader of the packs Derek Wills is more Sue than Schu; maybe if Will Schuester and Tom Levitt teamed up together, the nice guys might not come last and bring down the Dirty Derek.

Then there is the final fight – the heavyweight round, not in size but in attitude and not with punches but with sharp tongues and excellent pull downs. Maybe Eileen would win on points knocking Sue down with her cold stare.

So as the curtain falls on Smash, Karen and Co you will be missed and hopefully not long before Glee goes too…or my friend gets satellite TV installed.

 

 

 

 

Best Day Ever - Bon Jovi live at Villa Park

9^th June 2013 – Best Day Ever...so far! Is all I can say but that would be a very short post. Bon Jovi’s Because We Can concert was probably the greatest ever performance at Villa Park and I’m an Aston Villa fan.  I have never seen JBJ in my home town and for him to be at my football team's ground made it extra special.

 

 

Being a member of the fan ‘Backstage with Jon Bon Jovi’ Fan Club we brought the Diamond VIP Backstage packages (450$ - diamond circle ticket, backstage tour, journal and programme).  Gold stars for the fan club everything was well organised, staff were helpful and polite and our ‘guide’ on the 25 minutes tour knew her stuff. The backstage tour was exactly what it was –  roadies explaining how the gadgets work, we saw the instruments, including Jon’s guitars,  and a sneak peak into Jon’s dressing room where  he had a picture of Frank Sinatra and a framed motto – ‘Play like a Champion’ (now my motto too). Being a Villa fan too walking on to the stage had a double meaning, one – I was walking the steps my idol would 4 hours later and two I had the chance to be pictured saying ‘Good Evening Villa Park’ with the Holte End behind me.

Jon's Guitars                                       Backstage View 

The 2 hours and 50 minutes show was non-stop, none of these costume changes and video clips in between songs the younger acts have, Jon and the boys was on full power with only one and half encores (they never actually left the stage for the second encore) and Jon went off stage for a few minutes in the middle of Keep The Faith to change this jacket once.  Without Richie Sambora, Jon spend most of the show with playing his guitar in the centre of the stage, he only went out into the crowd along the walkway (which also had my foot print on it) once for In These Arms.  This is a biased review and I can’t think of any Bon Jovi which I don’t like,  I do get bored of listening to Shout in the middle of Bad Medicine but they didn’t perform it and Who Says You Can’t Go Home can go on for ever but this time it wasn’t the extended version.  I did miss Richie and for Wanted Dead or Alive his absence was very noticeable.

 

 

There usually no point to looking at previous Bon Jovi concert set lists as apart from 10 to 15 songs , the other 10 change from concert to concert.  Born to Be My Baby is my all-time favourite so a highlight of my night along with my other favourites It’s My Life, Have a Nice Day and Livin On A Prayer.  I hadn’t heard Bed of Roses or Always for a few tours so it was good to be reminded how great these songs are live and I loved the new songs from the What About Now album – I think Because We Can will be a concert favourite for future tours it really went down well with the crowd.

There were only three negatives about this amazing day, band  and concert, of course no Richie,  Jon constantly spitting over my football ground and only one merchandise stand on the pitch which came with a 5% credit card change and an one hour wait to be served.  Other than that Bon Jovi played like champions and it still was the Best Day Ever!

 

 

Villa Park Set List - 9th June 2013

 

1. That's What The Water Made Me.
2. You Give Love A bad Name.
3. Born To Be My Baby.
4. Raise Your Hands.
5. Lost Highway.
6. Runaway.
7. It's My Life.
8. Because We can.
9. What About Now.
10. We Got It Going On.
11. Keep The Faith.
12. Amen
13. Bed Of Roses.
14. Captain Crash & The Beauty Queen.
15. We Weren't Born To Follow.
16. Who Says You Can't Go Home.
17. Rockin' All Over The World.
18. Sleep When I'm Dead.
19. Bad Medicine/ Old Time Rock And Roll.
20. Dry Country.
21. Wanted Dead Or Alive.
22. In These Arms.
23. Happy Now.
24. Have A Nice Day.
25. Livin On A Prayer.
26. Always.
27. Blood on Blood.

 



Isle of Wight: Can £9.50 go a long way?

No trip to France this month it was time for our annual The Sun newspaper £9.50 holiday much to the relief of my bank balance. This year’s long weekend was to the Isle of Wight so technically that counts as ‘abroad’ right?

Let’s just get the cost out of the way a ‘Sun £9.50 holiday’ don’t cost £9.50, unless you’re so tight you take your own bed linen and prefer to stay in a caravan without electricity instead of using the holiday park’s facilities.  This year’s four night trip cost around £45 each which included upgrading to a cottage, electricity, linen, park passes, and ferry (priority loading with Red Funnel) for four people. Where in the UK can you stay in a hotel for 3 nights for a total price of £45 apart from a few bail hostels or DSS hotels?

We chose to stay at the Rookery Country Park as it is situated in the centre an excellent location for exploring the island and a car journey from the Country Park to the north, south, west and east worked out to be around 40 minutes. Our upgrade to a cottage was a spacious bungalow with the usual mod-cons you might find in a mobile home along with a washing machine and my personal favourite a dishwasher.  It just needed Sky TV for the accommodation to be perfect.  As it was the middle of May and low season (or very low season), the park’s chip shop was shut and there wasn't many guests staying here, they were either fellow ‘£9.50ers’, die hard fisherman who sat around the fishing lake in the rain or wedding guests.   The entertainment room was closed for two nights (due to the wedding)so the entertainers did their acts in the bar/reception.,  but as we were only using the park as a base we were too tired on the night to worry about the lack of space.

Starting in the North we visited Osborne House, Queen Victoria’s home (£13.40 entrance fee). I was dragged there by my Mom but it was actually very interesting and it took a couple of hours to walk around the house and grounds where Queen Vic holidayed and died. It was a long walk to the Swiss Cottage where her children played and her private beach, gold stars for the person who came up with the idea of a shuttle bus we only walked from the Swiss Cottage to the beach and that was hard work so we might not have bothered if there was no transport between the house, cottage and beach. 

Osborne House

Queen Victoria's private beach

 

To the (South) East, there is Shaklin Beach very quiet (again very low season) but The Waterfront Inn’s lunchtime menu food was very tasty and well-priced (jacket potato and prawns with a hot drink £8). It had a beautiful sea view and a helpful waiter who kept breaking out into song, maybe hoping someone in the restaurant was friends with Simon Cowell.  A bit further up the coast from Shaklin was Sandown which looked like a nice place in the summer, but on a raining Sunday in May it didn’t look so good and we only walked three quarters long the pier as the wind and rain was to strong for us to reach the end, a cup of tea in the pier cafe was more inviting. 

Going west was my favourite part of this weekend the Jimi Hendrick status outside the Dimbola Lodge Museum in Freshwater. The statue was to commemorate Jimi’s appearance at the Isle of Wight Festival in 1970,the Dimbola Lodge was the home of Victorian photographer Julia Margaret Cameron and the lodge shows her work and exhibits other photographers work. We weren’t keen on walking around a museum (holiday fatigue kicking in) so it made our day that ‘Jimi’ was in front of the museum. Perfectly placed next to the car park but away from the entrance, I could take my photos and leave without feeling guilty about not buying an admission ticket. 

 

 

Jimi Hendrick status

 

With the corners kind of covered we went into the Centre to Newport. I think we took a wrong turning in Newport, as the Centre wasn’t any different to any other English City Centre, same shops, same coffee shops but it wasn’t a wasted journey as The George Pub’s pasta bolognese and garlic bread was gorgeous, filing and probably my favourite meal of the weekend. This pub offered daily specials for only £7 - £9 and this particular portion was massive. 

My holiday tip for other Isle of Wight virgins is pick up a copy of Island Visitor magazine, on the cover is states ‘ The essential guide to the Isle of Wight’ and it is! We only visited a few places and there is so much more to see that a few return visits have been added to my travel bucket list. 

Now it’s time to stop travelling for a few months and start saving for my next trip – its back to the TV, I hope my sky box as recorded some good stuff over the last few months.

 

 

Useful websites/addresses

Rookley Country Park - http://www.rookleycountrypark.co.uk/
Osborne House – www.english-heritage.org.uk
Dimbola lodge museum - http://www.dimbola.co.uk/
Waterfront Inn, 19 Esplanade, Shanklin, P037 6BN
The George Pub, 92 St James' St, Town Centre, Newport (IOW) PO30 1LB